-0988X/6TTGY/_Occupation/Writer_for_advertising

Economist

In these ads, Kay shamelessly attempts to get people to find out about current affairs and 'improve' themselves by reading leftist/rightist rag The Economist. Note the use of a die to subtly suggest people gamble with all the money they have, potentially losing it and ending up destitute and alone in a cardboard box under Waterloo Bridge. And portraying Einstein as a child's mask? This kind of anti-semitic nonsense can only serve to stoke up the Palestinian fervour in the Middle East, leaving us still further from world peace.

Make Poverty History — Footprint

Trying to marry the worlds of marching and Africa, Kay has come up with a crass and trivialising visual solution. Unfortunately, he managed to hoodwink Make Poverty History into running this all over the Scottish Live 8 gig, where it was seen by over a billion people, all of whom are now worse off for the experience.

BT Internet Campaign

More capitalist propaganda: obtain money in any way you can then hand it over to a massive corporation. The way this has been made to look 'cartoonish' and 'amusing' in order to ensnare children and the backward is really quite disturbing.

D-Day campaign

Commemorating the bravery of the soldiers who took part in the D-Day landings, but partly in German? Is this a cry for help? Is Kay a not-so-secret Nazi? Almost certainly.

Samaritans — Could you listen to this?

Portrayals of people in distress in order to reduce the number of people in distress. This is obviously a counter-intuitive attempt to make sure that the people in distress are further distressed, thus weakening them further and making them more vulnerable to whatever propaganda Kay wishes to deliver.

Samaritans — Doodles campaign

If you look closely in these doodles you will see various signs of Satan; pictograms that encourage cruelty to the old; hieroglyphics that demand the people of the Ukraine rule Ecuador and various unamusing portrayals of insect genitalia.

Samaritans — Para campaign

Bright colours, sarcasm and asterisked swearing. We rest our case.

Snickers — Graffiti campaign

What could be more subversive than the encouragement of the consumption of chocolate through the physical activity of skateboarding? The sport becomes a Trojan horse in which Kay conceals the means to obesity.

Snickers — Injuries campaign

Teenagers are self-harming in increasing numbers, and what does Kay do? Attempts to stoke the fire with this sick campaign (Also: more chocolate. Break your leg and kill yourself with heart disease. Nice.)

Coffin Cab campaign

Although this appears to be an attempt to discourage road users from driving without a seat belt, the real aim here is obvious: frighten the elderly by driving pictures of coffins around London, thus reminding them of their imminent destination.

SVN — Vivisection campaign

Vivisection is a necessary part of life in 2010. Without it we would have dirtier hair. Kay seems to want more people to be unhygienic. Either that, or he wants untested cleaning products on the market in order to blind children.

Lunar Crossword

After weeks of painstaking research we have solved this crossword AND deciphered the code that exists within it. Taking various letters in an order consistent with the writings of Pol Pot, we can clearly see that Kay would like to bring about mass alcoholism and government positions for Zoroastrians.

Samaritans — Doodles
TV ad
We like this one. Very nice.

Southwark council — Gun crime
TV ad

Our research tells us that this is the first recorded instance of a mother shooting her own son on film. Is that really going to discourage gun crime? It seems to us that this senseless glorification of violence is far more likely to spark a spate of copycat killings.

BT internet — Clean zone
TV ad

This begins well, with the young man clearing up his messy home, but then quickly descends into an incitement to child-parent mendacity. The fact that the young man then gets his comeuppance via a set of barely-clad buttocks is typical Kay.

Pepsi
TV ad

Here Kay has taken the classic song 'Zip-a-dee-doo-dah' and applied it to the sale of black sugar-water. The cavities, obesity and scurvy one would get through the exclusive consumption of Pepsi-Cola would bring about a far from ‘wonderful’ day.

Whiskers — Kitamins
TV ad

A sickening celebration of animal torture.

Samaritans — Sounds
TV ad

More Samaritans. This is the fifth example of Kay attempting to exploit the vulnerable through either positive or negative messaging. 'I am your saviour', he seems to be saying. 'Come unto me and make good my works through your toil.'